Pranked my brother!
Posted by Pete on April 20, 2024 at 01:56:30
Around this time last year, I posted about some shenanigans me and my extended family (specifically my brother, his wife and their kids) got up to last year. My nephews and niece had their spring break last week, which ended with a carnival last year at their school. Last year, everyone's vacation schedules lined up and we did a long weekend together at an indoor waterpark, and the trip also included some hiking and a day trip back to the town where me and my brother Cole grew up. All in all a very memorable weekend for all of us, but especially the kids. The weekend wrapped up with a trip to the kids' school carnival, where Cole and I both "volunteered" to participate in their pie toss booth, and the kids (and our wives) enjoyed smashing our faces with platters of whip cream.
This year, we're all busier and there wasn't an opportunity for a weekend vacation together. We did get together for Easter, and at some point during our Easter gathering my nephew Derek brought up the topic of the school carnival. This year, he is old enough to volunteer to be one of the "victims" at the pie in the face booth - which is right up his alley. Getting to be the center of attention AND the center of a big mess? That kid thrives on those kinds of experiences. So when he produced a permission slip for his parents to sign to allow him to participate, his dad quickly scribbled his signature on there. I noticed there was also a line for "Parent/Guardian Volunteer".
"Uncle Petey, will you do the pie throw booth with me?" Derek asked.
"Sure, as long as your daddy goes first," I assured him. Granted, Cole isn't exactly the type to enjoy a pie in the face, but I figured he'd be a good sport for the sake of his kids.
"Actually, I have to work that day," Cole informed me, with maybe a hint of a smirk on his face.
"Surely you can get someone to cover for you," I replied.
"Can't. No one's available to trade. And we're so short staffed, they're denying vacation requests. I'm stuck at work. Sorry," Cole explained, though he didn't sound particularly sorry.
"So will you do it, Uncle Petey?" Derek asked again.
I agreed, and Derek happily scrawled my name on the "Parent/Guardian Volunteer" line on his form. Now, I didn't mind one bit, it was all for a good cause. But I did have an inkling that I might have just been setup, the victim of a conspiracy. Derek and Cole's conversation sounded just a bit TOO scripted. But, I wasn't going to let that bother me.
So the morning of the carnival I drive over and pick up the kids. Cole was in fact at work, and my sister-in-law had plans for a girls day out with her friends, and I was happy to watch the kids for the day. At the carnival, Derek and I were assigned a time slot to help out at the pie throwing booth, and when that time arrived, we made our way over.
The previous year, they used whip cream sprayed on paper plates as the "pies." For $1, the kids had to throw the pies from a line maybe 8 feet back, for $2 they could move a little closer, and for $3, they could walk right up and smash the pie in their target's face. This year, they set it up a little different. Instead of using paper plates, they sprayed the whip cream on big soft fluffy sponges. They also removed the "just walk up and smash them with the pie" option - they had to stand at minimum a couple feet back from their targets, though it was still close enough to be a guaranteed "hit." Someone explained to me that they hoped the sponges would make the event cheaper, since they wouldn't have to buy and then clean up hundreds of paper plates. And they also had people complain about getting "smashed" with the pies, since it could hurt their eyes and noses, so this year they're making everyone stand back at bit.
I was offered a plastic poncho to protect my clothes as well as a pair of goggles for my eyes, but I turned them down, figuring if the kids are ponying up the money to pie me, they could at least have the pleasure of seeing me get splatted without goggles covering half my face. They had a big wooden board setup, with holes cut for the victims to stick their faces through, so Derek and I stepped up, placed our faces through the holes in the board, and let the barrage commence.
If you ask me, it wasn't quite as fun as being in a dunk tank, but it was a similar vibe. To my surprise, the adult victims got off pretty easy. Obviously my niece and nephew both lobbed a few pies at me, along with a couple other random kids, but it was really the kid victims that seemed to be the most popular. Which I guess makes sense, since the kids were probably excited to pie their friends (and enemies). And Derek, he's a great kid and very well behaved, but he's also high-energy, talkative, and definitely a class clown, and he was really gifted at goading all kinds of people to part with their money to throw a pie at his face. One of his friends had a very similar personality, and they ended up actually having a competition to see which of them could get the most pies thrown at them. I don't know who won, but I was surprised to see just how much whipped cream was flung at those two during the relatively short time we were all victims in the event.
Once our turn was over, I was handed a washcloth by one of the other volunteers and worked to try to clean my face off. Derek, on the other hand, had his entire head, hands and arms covered in whipped cream, and was using it to form his hair into a mohawk. It was a good look for him. He proceeded to volunteer to retrieve the sponges from the ground after they were thrown at the victims. I was still getting cleaned up, and I looked over and realized that he and I (but probably mostly me) would be getting in trouble once his mother saw what was happening. There was, of course, a sizable amount of whip cream on the ground that Derek was plucking the sponges out of. And he was wearing his new shoes while doing so. Now, this is a kid who usually loves going barefoot, to the point that his mom always hollers at him to put his shoes on before he goes outside to play. But what's the one place that he voluntarily wears his new pair of gym shoes? To wade through ankle-deep piles of whip cream, of course! And his friend had wisely taken his own shoes off before helping, so it boggled my mind that Derek didn't do the same.
"Derek!" I yelled, raising my voice a bit. He looked startled at confused. "Your shoes!" I pointed. Derek is usually very respectful, but this time he did not appear happy that I had raised my voice with him. He ran over, and without saying a word, pulled off his shoes and socks, thrust them into my hands, and ran back to the action.
I rolled my eyes. The socks were gross but would at least go in the washer without any issue, but the shoes were another story. I grabbed another wash cloth and got to work trying to wipe off the whipped cream as best I could. Derek, meanwhile, was still having a ball, and despite no longer being an official "victim," it seemed like more than a few pies "accidentally" landed on him anyway. So eventually he was covered from head to toe in whipped cream, and looked like he was having the time of his life.
Eventually he got bored from his sponge-plucking assignment, and he and his friend ran off to do something else. I followed, since I was a little nervous about a high-energy kid covered in whip cream running around terrorizing the other guests, but it turned out he just ran off into a field to play soccer with some of his friends. I decided just to let him burn off the energy.
When it was getting to be time to go home, Derek came back over, exhausted and panting. And he was quite the sight - the whip cream had mostly melted, but turned into a sticky mess. So he was a rather disgusting mix of whip cream, dirt, dust, grass clippings, leaves, and whatever else stuck to him. He held his arms out, "I think I need a shower," he observed. "More like a pressure washer, maybe," I suggested. "Or a fire hose," his sister chimed in. "Or a swimming pool!" Suggested his brother. "Maybe a dunk tank?" I added. Derek laughed at the teasing, but said "OK but seriously, how can I clean up?"
The school had connected a garden hose to a contraption with multiple faucets, as a big hand washing station. It looked like the best option we had available to us, and Derek tried as best he could to rinse off - which ended with him being completed soaked, but only marginally cleaner. I had an inkling for what the day might bring, so we were prepared with a change of clothes for Derek, and plenty of plastic and towels to protect his seat in the car. On the way to the car, Derek said quietly to me, "sorry about the shoes, I totally didn't even stop to think about it." "I cleaned them off as best I could, but your mother will probably have some words for you," I advised. Derek's face turned red, and I felt bad for him - but on the other hand, he was doing what kids are supposed to do today, having fun, making a mess and just cleaning up afterwards.
On the way home we decided to stop and see their daddy while he was working at the fire station. (My brother is a full-time firefighter, if I forgot to mention that.) We walked in, and Cole again with just a hint of a smirk, asks how the day was. "Just fine," I answered, "have you been busy today?" "No," Cole answered, "haven't had a call in hours." "Oh, well, maybe you could have taken the fire truck over to the carnival, then, kids would have loved to see it." Cole squirmed a bit, "Um, we weren't invited, it would have been rude to show up uninvited." "Uh huh," I said sarcastically.
Cole mentioned, "I hear both Derek and Uncle Petey were good sports today. Some of the parents sent me some videos, they look pretty funny!" "Really??" Derek asked, "let me see!" Cole handed him his phone, and Derek enjoyed himself reliving his 15 minutes of fame at the pie throwing booth.
Meanwhile, I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and try to clean myself up a little better, and change into a clean shirt. When I stepped back into the hall, I bumped into Cole's shift lieutenant ("LT" for short.) I had met the LT a couple times, and he seemed like a good guy who usually asked me to pick up some part-time shifts at their department (I was a full time firefighter and EMT for a while, but have since given it up.) I also thought the LT recognized the value of a good fire house prank. So I casually filled him in on the days events, and how Cole had to miss them due to work, but I wasn't going to let my nephews and niece down, and took one for the team. "So, anyway LT, maybe you might think if there's a way to, um, give Cole an opportunity to make up for missing his family commitment today." The LT smiled and winked, and said he was sure he and the guys could come up with something. Just then Cole and Derek came walking down the hallway - Derek apparently decided he did not enjoy being sticky, and wanted to use the shower room to get a proper shower and change into clean clothes. Cole was to stand guard while Derek was showering, so he and I stood in the hallway and talked firefighting while Derek got cleaned off. Once Derek emerged, looking a little more presentable, we said our farewells. "Thanks Petey, I owe you," Cole said. "You certainly do, Cole, you certainly do," I replied.
Then, it was off to drop the kids off at home, where Derek's mother was not too pleased about his sticky shoes, but at least didn't seem compelled to murder my nephew or myself over it.
Fast forward a few hours, and I'm out at dinner with an old friend of mine - actually, a friend from my junior firefighter days. (My wife was working overnight, so I had the night to myself.) While we're chatting, my phone buzzes, and its a message from Cole: "Thanks A$$H-LE" it says. Cole isn't much for profanity, and while I'm sure there's no shortage of reasons that he might want to say that to me, I didn't have much context to go off of. But a moment later, a video comes through - and I laughed like a lunatic there at the dinner table as I watched it.
The video showed Cole sitting at the firehouse dinner table, listening to his LT talk. Firehouse rules are that when a ranking officer is speaking, you shut up and listen - and Cole is great at shutting up and listening. (I, on the other hand, am not, and perhaps that's why my career in the fire service was not too lengthy, but I digress.) Then, you see two of the other firefighters sneak up behind Cole with plates piled high with shaving cream, which they proceeded to absolutely clobber Cole with. Like, this was the quality of pieing that belonged on a children's TV game show. They had to have emptied multiple cans of shaving cream onto these pie plates, and my poor brother just got absolutely demolished by them.
Cole is incredibly stoic, and even this didn't seem to rattle him. He didn't seem to even flinch, he just waited for his colleagues to finish smashing the pies on him, then calmly started scooping the shaving cream from his eyes. His LT, meanwhile, was still talking, and finished with "and isn't that right, Firefighter Davison?" "That's right, LT," Cole muttered stoically. At that point, Cole and the rest of the crew finally cracked up laughing, and the video cut out. I showed it to my friend, who had a good laugh himself - he knows all about firehouse humor and firehouse pranks, and this one appeared to be legendary. Seriously, I don't know if America's Funniest Home Videos is still on, but I'd be inclined to submit this video to them, it was that perfectly executed.
I scrambled to text Cole back, "so is that the first time you've had to use shaving cream this year?" (Cole basically doesn't grow facial hair. We'd joke that he didn't have to shave until he turned 25, and even now he only has to shave once or twice a year.) Cole didn't reply to my text, and I surmised he might not be happy about even more teasing and harassment. So I followed up with, "We'll call it even for today, then." Cole answered with, "You got that right."
Now, the question is, are we REALLY even, or is my brother already plotting his revenge?
- Re: Pranked my brother! Lewis 23:06:24 4/28/2024
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- Re: Pranked my brother! LeviLovR 10:14:46 4/20/2024
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- Re: Pranked my brother! wetlevisboy 07:04:43 4/20/2024
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